Of Slayers and Watchers
by ScareGlow
Summary: After season 7: Xander offers to become Faith's watcher. When she declines, Giles offers him a chance to prove himself. Xander accepts and undergoes a ritual. Little does he know that there's much more to this ritual than he can imagine... R&R please!


Disclaimer: I don't own anything; you know the drill.

Author's Notes: This is a plot bunny that attacked me quite a while ago and wouldn't let me be, so I finally sat down and wrote the story. It doesn't have anything to with my other Buffy stories; it's a standalone one-shot (unless I decide to write a sequel some day).

To those who also read my other stories: Updates are due to be uploaded soon!

And now, enjoy the story, and feel encouraged to leave some feedback!

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"You gotta be shittin' me!"

Rupert Giles sighed, removed his glasses in a fluid motion and gently rubbed the bridge of his nose. Why did all slayers always have to react in such a similar way to his proposals? Why could they not, just for once, simply agree with him? He put his glasses back on.

"I am by no means, as you so charmingly put it, shitting you, Faith. I…"

"But Harris? Come one, G, a blind man could see that's a bad idea! What loon would suggest making him my watcher?"

Giles sighed again. "That would be Xander himself."

As expected, Faith's jaw fell in shock. "What? Harris wants to be my watcher?"

Giles would've smiled if he hadn't been so tired. "It would appear so. Now would you mind telling me why the idea is so appalling to you?"

The Bostonian slayer took a step backwards. "Whoa there, G, I never said anything about appallin', 'kay? But the X-man and I, we got too much damn history. I mean, I can't even think why he'd wanna be my watcher… other than to do me in."

Giles' eyes narrowed, and Faith immediately realised what she'd said.

"No, no, no, G, that's not what I mean! Christ, I know he'd never do that!"

"Then why would you even think it, let alone say it out loud?" Giles asked, and his tone of voice clearly showed that he was not too happy with the former rogue slayer.

Faith suddenly seemed a bit insecure, fidgeting. "I dunno. Listen, G, sorry if I offended your favourite boy, but I don't think it's a good idea. Find someone else."

With that, she turned and hurriedly left the room, the door closing behind her with an audible sound.

Giles sighed again. Why did everything that involved the Sunnydale group have to be so complicated?

"Sorry you had to go through that," a voice behind him said. "I guess I should've expected that. Who'd want me as their watcher, anyway?"

The senior watcher turned. "Don't go there, Xander. Her refusal has nothing to do with your competence as a watcher."

The founding scooby raised a brow. "Oh? So she really thinks I'd get her killed on purpose?"

Giles groaned. "Heavens, no! Stop being so think-headed, will you, Xander? I think you know as well as I do that she's just scared."

"Of what?" Xander asked, clearly unable to follow the older man.

"That could be a great many things. Your past, for example. The way things went down between the two of you. Did she ever talk to you after the fall of Sunnydale?"

The one-eyed carpenter automatically averted his gaze. "No." There was a moment's pause. "No, we didn't talk."

There was a lot of bitterness in that statement, and it caught Giles' attention, as he put a comforting hand on Xander's shoulder.

"Xander?"

"I know she talked to the others, cleared the air." He looked up into the eyes of the man that had become his surrogate father. "I guess I just wasn't important enough."

The grip on his shoulder tightened. "Do not ever think that, Xander."

A short, humourless laugh escaped Xander's lips. "Why not? Except four you, everyone treats me like Mr. Superfluous. Faith runs away the moment I enter the room, which I should probably take as a compliment, seeing as she's only ever run away from ancient vampires and pissed-off slayers. And the others treat me like an invalid. I have to be grateful that I don't get fed or bathed by others."

This elicited another sigh from Giles. He couldn't deny that Xander had a point there, loath as he was to admit it. The other scoobies had been affected greatly by Xander's injury, except Willow, who unfortunately was constantly on the move, tracking new slayers and sending them to them, and therefore couldn't help.

"I think I can imagine how you're feeling, Xander, but I also think you're misjudging their intentions."

The young man shrugged listlessly. "I think I'll retire to my room, Giles… and perhaps I should retire altogether. I mean, what good is a watcher without a slayer these days?"

Giles took of his glasses once more and started cleaning them. "Xander… There is something I have thought about… a way to prove to yourself and the others that you are not an invalid but, in fact, a very capable watcher."

Xander couldn't help but find his interest piqued. "What is it?"

The cleaning became more furious. "It is not without danger, Xander. As a matter of fact, it is very dangerous indeed. You would possibly risk your life."

"What is it?" Xander echoed his own question, his voice more urgent.

"It is a test, similar to the cruciamentum of the slayer, only this test is designed for watchers, to see if they are capable of fulfilling their duties to the slayer."

Xander's eye widened in surprise. "Never heard of it! Have you taken this test before you were assigned to Buffy?"

"No," Giles answered with a shake of his head. "The test hasn't been put in practise for several decades. The watcher's council deemed it too dangerous for young watchers."

Xander did a double take. "They had no problems putting the slayer through the cruciamentum, but thought it was too dangerous to expect the same thing of the watcher?"

Giles looked as if a very foul smell had suddenly reached his nose. "Indeed. I didn't even know of this test when I was assigned to Buffy. I only found out about it after the destruction of the old council." He paused for a moment, and when he continued, his voice sounded very serious. "Xander, should you decide that you wish to take this test, I will help you in any way I can beforehand. During the test, no one can come to your aid, but your slayer will find out about the outcome as soon as the test is over. I will not give you any advice as to whether you should or shouldn't take the test. Should you not wish to take it, this conversation never happened, and I will think no less of you. The things you have achieved until now are remarkable, and I will always be proud to call you my friend and fellow watcher, no matter what you choose."

Xander had to blink a couple of times when Giles praised him so freely, but his decision already stood.

"I'll do it."

"Xander, you should not rush this decision. It could mean…"

"I'll do it, Giles. I won't change my mind, no matter if you ask now, tomorrow or in a year."

After a moment, during which he studied Xander carefully, Giles finally nodded. "Very well. The test shall begin tomorrow at noon. A simple ritual will initiate it; then you will be on your own. I can tell you nothing about what you have to do, say or face during your test, but I have no doubt you will make me proud."

Xander nodded, feeling a lump in his throat. "Thanks."

Giles reciprocated the nod. "I suggest you get a good night's sleep now. I will prepare everything for you."

A few moments later, the senior watcher was alone, hoping that everything would work out as he hoped.

-

"He wants to do what?" Faith exclaimed, surprise evident on her features.

Giles' face remained expressionless. "He wants to prove himself in a test specifically designed for watchers, a watcher-cruciamentum, if you will."

Her face had lost most of its colour. "No, G, we have to stop him!"

"I'm afraid it is rather too late for that now. The test has begun, and shortly, your mind will be drawn into it. You cannot interfere, and Xander will not even notice your presence. All you can do is watch. Xander thinks that you will only learn about this test once it is finished."

Faith's eyes almost bugged out. "You lied to him?"

A sad smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "It is not the first time I have lied to someone I greatly respect, Faith, but it is part of the test. He could put on a show if he knew how this test really works."

Faith began pacing. "Damn, G, why did you allow him to take that stupid test? He ain't got nothin' to prove!"

"He thinks otherwise, and to be quite honest, I can hardly blame him, considering how everyone has treated him like an invalid or fled him altogether."

Her fist crashed into the wall. "Damn, G! This ain't about Xander! I… I just…" Suddenly, she started swaying. "What's goin' on?"

Giles adjusted his glasses. "It has begun. You should lie down, Faith; I will be waiting for your return."

"Whatever…" Faith felt her mind leaving her body, so she quickly lay down. Her eyes closed, and when she could open them again, she was at the entrance to a cave, and Xander was standing at her left.

"Xander! Xander!"

He couldn't hear her, so she tried to touch him, but her arm went right through him.

"Fuck those watchers and their mojo!" Her curse had no effect whatsoever, and all she could do was watch as Xander squared his shoulders and entered the cave. Muttering a few more curses, she followed him.

-

Xander entered the cave, his heart beating as if it would jump out of his breast any minute now. 'Keep your cool. You have to prove that you can be watcher-guy,' he kept reminding himself to little effect.

After a short walk through the dark tunnel, he reached a large room that was empty save for a cage that was floating in mid-air. In that cage, he could see the hovering, motionless form of a young woman. It was Faith. Her eyes were closed, but she seemed unharmed.

"Faith! Faith! Can you hear me?"

He hurried closer, but she didn't stir.

-

"Fuck! Xand, it's a trap! That ain't me!" Faith felt more than a little frustrated when Xander still didn't hear her. She'd been surprised to see her own body floating in a cage in mid-air, out of reach for Xander, but once the one-eyed carpenter had started to run towards it, she knew immediately that it had to be a trick. She found that she really hated this test already.

-

"Faith!" Xander felt a feeling of dread rising in his stomach. What had he gotten her into? This test was supposed to be about him, not her!

When he had crossed half the room, a thundering noise stopped him dead in his tracks. Directly below the cage, a creature that looked very much like a Turok-Han appeared in an explosion of smoke.

'Drama-queen much?' Xander wondered, but before he could say or do anything, the creature spoke to him.

"Welcome, Alexander, to the test that will determine your worthiness as a watcher. As you can see, your slayer has been taken hostage, but you do not have to worry: She has not been harmed… yet. If you wish to free her, you have to defeat me in a fight. However, seeing as you are just a mere mortal, and a handicapped one at that, I offer you a choice: You can leave unharmed now, and I will not stop you."

Xander didn't have to think long. "What happens to her if I leave?"

The creature smiled, and its smile caused him to shiver. "I shall not tell you."

Xander took a shuddering breath. "In that case, bring it on."

The creature laughed. "You are a fool, Alexander. You should know that there is no way you can defeat me. There is no weapon, no fire, and no sunlight here, nothing that could help you against me. You are on your own, and your power is no match for mine. Leave now, and your life will be spared. Stay, and you will suffer at my hands and die a most painful death."

"Yeah, yeah, like I haven't heard that before. I will not leave her here at your mercy, freak-face!"

"As you wish."

With that, the creature attacked, and before he could even see it coming, Xander felt a brutal hit in the chest that sent him flying backwards. As he got up, he saw the vampire standing right in front of him.

"So weak."

Another hit, this time in the back, that sent him right back to the ground.

"So pathetic."

A kick to the head threw him back another couple of feet.

"So much fun."

He felt his hand being crushed under the heavy boots of his attacker and cried out in pain.

"You could have walked away and lived, but you chose to die. Do you really think I will spare her once you are dead?"

Even though his entire body hurt, Xander forced himself up. "You leave her out of this! This is my test! She's innocent!"

He tried to swing at the creature with his good hand, but he missed, and in the same moment, his breath was sucked out of him as a brutal fist hit his stomach, making him throw up everything he had eaten that day. A cruel laugh taunted him while another kick to his already swollen face sent him into the wall of the room.

"Innocent? Her?"

Another hit to his ribs that he couldn't block; he felt his bones break under the impact and was hit by yet another fresh wave of pain.

"She's as far from innocent as she could possibly be."

More hits rained down on his crumpled form.

"She's a criminal."

Another hit.

"A whore."

Another hit.

"A stupid girl unworthy of the power that was bestowed upon her."

Another hit.

Xander hardly felt it any more, his broken body growing numb, but the creature paused, which gave him the opportunity for a response. Spitting out a few broken teeth, he only managed a few words, but they were all he wanted to say.

"She's my slayer."

He was thrown back into the middle of the room, where he landed on the ground, hard.

"Your slayer? She doesn't want you. She told you so, remember? She thinks you're pathetic, weak and stupid, as do the others. Seeing you here before me, I have to say I can understand them. You are not her watcher. You are just a one-eyed fool trying to play with the big boys."

Xander couldn't move; his entire body was in pain, but he forced himself to answer. It was all he could do, anyway.

"Maybe. But she's still my slayer."

Another laugh echoed throughout the room.

"What? Just because you came here, trying to prove something, you think she's your slayer? You are even more pathetic than I had thought possible. I think I will kill her now and let you witness it. According to rumour it is the one thing any watcher dreads the most."

Xander couldn't see, as his eye was swollen shut, but he felt panic grip him, and he forced his head up.

"No!"

"What? Is that the only response you are capable of? You haven't landed even one hit. You should not have come here, Alexander. Now your slayer, as you call her, is going to pay the price for your failure."

"No…" Xander could hardly tell if his limbs were even still attached to his body, but he forced himself on his knees. He had to get up and stop that creature from killing Faith! "This…" He coughed up some blood. "This is my fault, not hers."

He still couldn't see, but when the creature spoke, he could tell it had stopped and turned toward him.

"Indeed it is. So?"

"Leave her alone. Take me instead." He had hardly finished his ragged response, when his knees gave way and he landed on the solid ground once more.

"So you offer me your life freely to save this slayer?"

"Yeah."

"You are in an enormous amount of pain, Alexander. I do not think you are thinking clearly."

Xander felt a sudden rush of heat, and when it was over, the pain was gone. His bones didn't feel broken any more, he could breathe easily, and when he tried to open his eye, he found it wasn't swollen anymore. He blinked in surprise.

"What…?"

"I healed you, but rest assured that this is only temporary. I want you to be of sound mind and body when you decide. You can either leave without her now, or I will undo the healing of your body and make you suffer until you die. The choice is yours."

"Will you let her leave unharmed if I stay?" Xander asked. This was what it all came down to.

The creature seemed to study him for a moment before finally nodding.

"Yes, I shall spare her if you stay."

Xander gulped heavily and nodded. "Okay. I'll stay." He closed his eye and waited for the pain. All he felt, though, was blackness as he plunged into unconsciousness.

-

Faith woke up with a start, tears streaming down her cheeks. Wide-eyed and pale, she grabbed Giles, who was sitting beside her.

"Xander! What happened to Xander?!"

The head watcher sputtered in surprise, which didn't help to pacify Faith.

"Where did the fucking ritual take place?!" she screamed.

"In my office," Giles finally managed to stammer out. He had been scared of Faith before, when she'd gone rogue, but it was nothing compared to what he felt now. She seemed completely out of her mind. To his immense relief, he apparently had given the right answer, for she pushed him aside and ran out of the room at a speed that was amazing even by slayer standards.

-

Xander slowly regained consciousness, but he didn't want to open his eye. Had the creature tricked him? He didn't feel any pain, so did this mean he had failed and Faith was dead? Then he became aware of the smell around him: It smelled just like the stuff Giles had burned at the beginning of the ritual. Did this mean…? He opened his eye at last and found his thought confirmed: He was back in Giles' office. He shot up. If he was back, did this mean Faith was back, too? Or had he left her behind in the clutches of that creature? Panic set in. He couldn't have messed everything up yet again, could he? He rushed towards the door, but before he could reach it, it was kicked open with such force that it splintered. Automatically, he turned away from the door and shielded his face, and when he looked again, he could see Faith standing in the frame, looking at him with wide eyes, breathing heavily, sweating and pale.

For a moment, both looked at each other as if they'd never seen each other before, then Faith launched herself at Xander, grabbing him in an almost bone-crushing hug.

"Xander!"

For his part, Xander could do nothing but try to breathe. "Faith, air," he managed to squeeze out.

Her grip loosened a little, but she didn't let go. Her entire body was shaking, and Xander quickly realised that she was crying. He put his arms around her and tried to calm her down. Why would she be…? Realisation hit Xander like a thunderbolt. She must have witnessed his test! She must have seen and heard everything; there was no other explanation for her behaviour.

"Shhh, Faith; it's okay; I'm here. I'm fine, nothing happened." He tried to sound calm and reassuring, but he felt his own voice tremble while he spoke. He had really thought he wouldn't survive the test; that the creature would kill him, and it showed. In fact, not only his voice, but his entire body was trembling. As Faith slowly began to calm down a little, she seemed to notice, too, for she gripped him a little tighter, holding him up with her slayer strength.

After what seemed like a long time, she finally looked up, staring into his eye with a mix of ragged emotions that Xander couldn't really place.

"What were you thinking, you big moron?"

Not quite what he'd expected.

"Well, I… I mean… huh?"

She shook her head, but a smile was tugging at her lips, even though fresh tears were still falling.

"This is so like you, sacrificing yourself for someone who doesn't even deserve it."

His brow furrowed. "What are you talking about? Of course you deserve it! I dragged you into this mess; by the way, sorry about that… I didn't know you'd be involved in this; Giles told me you'd just be told about the outcome."

She nodded, sniffing a little. "Yeah… He knew you wouldn't have done it if you'd thought I'd be in danger." She looked at him intensely. "You… you really thought that thing would kill you, didn't you?"

He lowered his head, averting his gaze. "Stupid, isn't it? I mean, I should've known Giles wouldn't let me die in a test…"

She put her hands on his cheeks, gently forcing him to look at her.

"It wasn't stupid. What you did…" She felt herself struggle for words. "It was the greatest thing anyone has ever done for me," she finally said in a hushed voice.

He shrugged uncomfortably. "Come on, Faith, I couldn't let you die for a mistake I made. If you really look at it, I just got you into trouble… So the least I could do was to get you out of it."

She slowly shook her head, smiling. "If you wanna see it that way, go ahead. Won't change how I see it." She became serious again. "That you would try to save me after everything I did…"

"Stop right there," Xander interrupted. "Faith, I know you got the whole redemption thing going on, and it's great, really, but your past doesn't make your life a waste that isn't worth saving. Your past is exactly that: past." He took a step back. "I'm actually surprised you even mention it; I mean, you never talked to me…"

Faith felt a sharp pang in her chest at these last words. "Xand, I'm so sorry… I just… I was scared…"

His eyebrows rose. "Scared? Faith, you talked to pretty much everyone else…"

She bit her lip. "Yeah, I know… but they… they weren't you…"

He sat down on the couch that was just another step behind him. He looked tired and exhausted now. "Care to elaborate?"

She forced herself to sit down beside him. "They… You…" She sighed. "Back in the day, you tried to help me. You see, with the others, I could always tell myself that they hadn't done shit to help me, but you… I couldn't say that about you. You… you were special. And… and I talked to Willow."

He looked at her, clearly not following that last train of thought. She fidgeted a little before continuing.

"See, Willow told me about how she almost ended the world and how you stopped her. You should've seen her face when she talked about you… Anyway, she said that she didn't think anyone could ever forgive somethin' like that, but you did without hesitatin'. It scared me, 'cause I thought if I talked to you, apologised and all, and you wouldn't forgive me, I'd be a lost cause for sure. I mean, if someone like you, who can forgive somethin' as big as the end of the world, can't forgive me, then no one can. That's why I always ran away from you. Truth be told, I'm still scared shitless, but after today, after what you did for me, there was no way I could run away again."

There was a moment's silence after this, during which Faith tentatively looked at the man sitting beside her, while Xander tried to comprehend everything he'd been told.

One thing you couldn't help but find endearing about Xander was that you could always see his thought process reflected on his face. Surprise, comprehension, shock and other expressions appeared as he thought about what the Bostonian slayer had just confessed and told him.

Finally, taking a deep breath, he looked at Faith. "I guess there are a lot of things we need to talk about, Faith, but I'll just skip ahead to the most important point for now: I forgive you."

When he said these words, he watched her reaction: How her eyes widened with surprise, how confusion gave way to comprehension, how an enormous weight seemed to be lifted off of her shoulders, how a tentative smile (and a real one at that instead of her usual smirk) slowly formed on her lips, how it turned into a full, beaming smile as he nodded in confirmation of his words, and the next thing he felt was how the air was pressed from his lungs due to the very enthusiastic hug he was receiving. Before he could voice any protest, though, her grip loosened a little and she whispered a single word she'd hardly had reason to use before in her life.

"Thanks."

Many things were conveyed in this single word, and just as many in his answer.

"You're welcome."

Whatever Faith might have wanted to say or do next, she was stopped by the sound of many hurriedly approaching footsteps. She let go of Xander, just as Buffy and a group of junior slayers entered the room.

"Xander!" Buffy rushed over and enveloped him in yet another bone-crushing hug.

"Buffy," he coughed out. "What's going on?"

She let go of him and looked at him anxiously. "Are you alright? Are you hurt?"

He blinked. "Why would I be…?" He interrupted himself. "Oh no, don't tell me you saw that test, too!"

Buffy nodded. "I was there, as was every other slayer in the house. Xander! What was all that about? Giles wouldn't tell me anything! It's taken all the time since I woke up just to get out of him where to find you!"

Xander had paled considerably. All these girls had witnessed the test?

Faith answered in his stead, seeing that Xander was in no condition to give a coherent answer at the moment.

"Boy-toy here thought he had to prove that he was able to be a watcher, so G set up this test for him and told him that his slayer would be informed about the outcome. So X took it, not knowing that I'd be witnessing it… and from the looks of it, you and the other slayers as well."

Buffy's eyes threatened to bug out. "What?" She turned to him. "So you're alright? Nothing happened to you?"

He gulped. "I'm fine, Buff."

She breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God…" Then her face turned serious again. "But why did you think…?"

She was interrupted. "Buffy, could we not discuss that now?" Xander asked quickly, looking meaningfully towards the other slayers huddled in the doorway.

Buffy glanced over her shoulder and back. "Oh… Sure…" She seemed unsure what to do for a moment, but then she nodded. "We'll talk later."

Xander nodded, relieved that she didn't want to pursue the subject now.

In the meantime, Buffy turned to the young slayers. "Alright, girls, since everything's alright, there's no reason to cancel our training! Get going!" She shooed the girls out, taking one last look at Xander before she left. "I'm really glad you're okay."

And then she was gone, and Xander was alone with Faith again. He closed his eye for a moment. So every slayer in the house had seen this stupid test? He'd have to kill Giles for that. With a sigh, he opened his eye again and turned to Faith. Looking at the Bostonian slayer, he noticed – maybe for the first time – how small she actually was. He'd probably never noticed because she usually radiated so much power and confidence that you never thought of her as small. But the way she shuffled her feet now and looked up at him, she didn't look like a powerful warrior; she looked like a girl. It unsettled him a little, and he nervously scratched his neck.

"So…" He began, at a loss for words.

Seeing his nervousness seemed to calm her a little. "Xand? Is… Is that offer still good?"

He blinked in confusion. "Which one?"

She looked down. "That you'd be my watcher."

His eye widened in surprise. "You want me to be your watcher?"

She looked up again, a small smile on her lips. "Not exactly." Even before his face could fall, she continued. "I want to be your slayer."

It took Xander a moment to get his mind around what she'd just said. That Faith Lehane, who'd never wanted to be anyone's anything, would say something like that… to him of all people… Finally, he nodded with a warm smile. "You got it." Then, his smile turned into a grin. "So what do you say we pay Giles a visit and let him know how we feel about this test he put us through?"

"What, you want me to hug the senior watcher? Think it'll embarrass him?" she asked with a grin of her own.

Xander stopped dead in his tracks. "You're joking, right? I mean, that was one of the most embarrassing things I had to go through. I'll never live that down."

She looked at him calmly. "Why would you want to? Xander, it wasn't embarrassing or stupid or whatever else you might think. It just showed how brave and selfless you really are, and considering how you always manage to sell yourself short, it was about time. I know you don't like the spotlight much, but if you wanna be my watcher, you'll have to get used to some time in it, 'cause I don't allow my watcher to play the goofball all the time."

He raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at his lips. "Is that so? You are aware that as your watcher, I'm the one who gives the orders, right?"

She felt her heart lift at the ease with which he bantered with her, but of course she couldn't let that show, so she replied in her best sultry voice: "Uuuuh, trying to put me in my place, Mr. Watcher? Didn't know you had it in you…"

To her surprise, Xander didn't back off as she'd thought he would. "There's lots of things you don't know about me…" he answered mysteriously.

She decided to step up the game a little, snaking an arm around his right arm. "I guess I'll have to find out then."

"Good luck," Xander replied with a humorous laugh.

His response took Faith by surprise, as she'd never met a guy she couldn't wrap around her finger within a few seconds. Her reaction wasn't lost on Xander, either.

"Faith, I've been surrounded by extremely powerful and beautiful women for years now; it takes a bit more than that to rattle me these days," he said with a wink.

She smiled slyly at this announcement. "Good to know."

Xander wisely refrained from giving an answer. He'd have a few words with Giles later, and he really didn't look forward to facing the other slayers, especially Buffy, but at least he'd got his chance to be a watcher now. He glanced at his slayer. His slayer. He had to smile at that thought. Yes, it would definitely not be easy; Faith had always been more than a handful, but he found himself looking forward to it.

"Shall we?" he asked with a gesture toward the entrance that was framed by the broken pieces of what used to be the door.

Her answer was a nod and a smile. "Let's."

And with that, the new slayer-watcher-duo left Giles' office, both happier than they'd been for quite some time.


End file.
